the 11th day of the 5th month is approaching

...and it means something to me.

remembering our origins, our place in all time

12.12.15

a birthday began in bareness

buns on a boulder

overlooking bright sunrise

beacon of warmth

beautifully caressing flesh

all of me, vulnerable

and strong, still breathing

breathing stilly, strong

with 100 brothers of Taizé

and the order of all

Nations belting into earbuds:

"See I am near,

says the Lord...

See I make all things

new..."

the oceans and mountains

embracing me from every side,

I was born a breathless baby,  

let me not forget my small 

brevity as my body bursts

with bewitching beating blood

baptised in the breakingdawn

On: wanting

Today I asked, weak and wobbly: "Give me a sign. How much I now need one." Afraid the tides would pull me too far away... So I went a' wandering, asking, listening, waiting, expecting. You gave me no thing to point to as symbol, but you gave me yourself, reminding me that it's been in my weakest states that I've been most aware of your nearness.

Of course there was the giant field, and rackshack trailerhomes, and lingering mustard, and mustangs, and streetnames, and sky, and the songs, heard, weaving so many meanings, all beautiful and each a gift... I've been hungry, and I'm not ashamed to admit my cravings. But You've told me that you know them all. You understand me, and you're enough.

so,

thanks.

human

I'm in love.
with fresh spaced old places
the crooked path to
this coffeshop sunlight, freedom
kind strangers, crazy yelling drifters
cold winter, melodic spring
San Fransisco. soundtrack of hippies
flowers in their hair, in the park,
thumping through my imagination
windy walking love, heart-break,
m
  i
   s
     t
       a
         k
           e
              s
written in the cracks of sidewalks
late night drunken lost trippin
searching, all the finding, finding finding
being found
home
my dad told me he wandered these streets
over and over
i am here
my shoulders feel his footsteps
carrying a heavy load
but free barefoot dirty bearded handsome
searching
i am here, finding.
love for a father grows and grows
all souls need medicine
and here, I see it all around.
this world is too beautiful
thatched
entwined humanity breathes in together
the planet spins
sun and moon so perfectly balanced
peace, the strongest force, daughter of love
sustaining all, I lean, and sinues feel her
in the sighs of strangers
in the swirl of this latte
not the best I've ever tasted
but perfect
in this moment
so the best,
everything and nothing right now.
this lot is goodness.
saturday.

Please don't be afraid...

For there is no sin that would make me unlove you.

hiccup surprise cheese

The amount
of love
that fits
right here
so close to my
(wait...
inside, beyond
like,
maybe another
universe sitting
right inside my)
heart,
(to the left
and down a corridor
a few thousand
billion miles
and then free fall
down deep
into a
cave
yeah, that's where
this love
i have for you
hangs out
and sometimes
it burps out past my face
and i see it square on
and I can't
help
but
smile)

Taking time to say it better...

As the sun began to peer out

from the darkened valley below,

two souls wandered and saw themselves

in each other's eyes.

It was a good springtime moment

in both of their lives... the depths

of darkness that lay behind

enabled them to gaze afresh in

wonder at the small miracles of life.

lightness, excitement and hope

took thier place in a renewed

foundation underneath thier feet,

assuring the sinues of their 

knowing souls that life would be

good, no matter what.

surely there was a good flow.

and surely the hopeless

romantic is no stranger to

the human heart.

Good vibes + good connections are

not annulled simply if true-love

is not, in effect, sprouted from them.

The fact is, gifts were given.

Material ones, yes; and in them

deep significance and symbolic

value. Overwhelmingly in fact. and

on top of that, the gifts of thought,

consideration, time attention and

the gallant sacrifice of vulnerable risk.

These things were not overlooked

or taken for granted.

However, there is forever a

mystery to love;

the way in which it's formed,

and the manner to which it lingers.

Try as we may, our human ventures

can only go so far, 

until they're picked up

by an unearthly wind,

a sacred and irrefutable spirit

that let's us say: yes;

without hindrance,

unharnessed to step forward

in peaceful passion

- this is something precious and mystic and pricelss - 

and there is no counterfeit will 

that can ever do this justice.

there can be sadness 

when things don't go as we'd have hoped...

but even in sorrow,

there rests the optimistic anticipation

of consolation and deliverance.

The bitter parts of life

can enrich the sweetness when it comes, 

and if we surrender to being honest to 

our own hearts and accepting of the seasons

as the pass across our pastures.

It's difficult to 'turn someone down'

when you believe that "LOVE IS WHAT 

MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND"

It seems paradoxical and I'm not sure

how to feel good about it.

But I do beleive you are a person worthy

of immense love, unbridled and whole.

And I ernestly hope you find it.

I'm sorry to say it cannot be me.

I've been more than flattered by 

all your undeserved kindness.

I feel you've given me much,

and for that, I thank you.

I want to give you: 

A most favorite book I've ever read.

I hope you too, can find comfort

and beauty within it's pages.

Not every story can end the classic fairytale,

But in each story, we can find beauty.

You shared a great amount with me - 

and I hope our friendship doesn't have to end.

with sincerity.

Madeleine