On being empowered.

How can I do the most good?
I can feel things... and support women, and children, and humans, and men and grandfathers, and aunties, and receptionists and neighbors. I can be with whoever I am with at any given moment. I can hear their stories, I can listen with my eyes and mind and heart, and care. I can be moved - or not - but I can accept them, (just in the way I accept all that has happened to me). Not turn them away - not judge them. I can search every crack of their face til I find the worthy part of them that exists because they were made by love.

I'm not saying it' not complicated. Cause, Good Lord, it is. But often complicated problems can have simply solutions. Really really.

And I can cheer by myself, alone in my room, because such a good song fills me with such beauty and thankfulness. I've listened to Gregory Alan Isakov twice this year. Once walking down a hill in France, and once tonight. And just wow.

All kind of cirlces of healing are happening. Healing, like not starting over, just moving forward, stronger. I know more that what I am doesn't matter so much, as what I choose to do with the days God has given me, and what good ones He has made. I mean, just gee.

I love so dearly this moment of life. The three most precious little boys living in my childhood home, my family, my friends, new friends... old ones too - we are all knowing each other and failing so much, but making it all the same. Good job, humanity. We are the collective, there is strength and sense in finding our place in the greater collective, of souls all gone through hardships and bliss, knowing we are one. Sometimes we have to stop and give credit where it's due. Imagine if God made a planet without music? And without boats, and sunsets, and growing grass, and steamy soup, and ohmygod coffee, and blankets and eyeballs, and the sweetest single mother who fell in love with a german popstar, and we eat burritos on the beach, and watch her baby be fatherless, even though sparkling waves crash in February summer warmth... but no, there is always forever hope. None of us are quite finished yet. We're just supposed to trust in happy endings - because there is one for all who choose to believe.

Oh man.
Unedited rambles. but so true to the spirit in this deep evening.