Rake

Today... I raked leaves.
It was an experience that lent me more insight into life, than many others have as of late. I felt close to the earth. Not in a funky pantheistic, greeny-save-the-whales kind of way, but rather in a way that really made me genuinely appreciate this planet that houses our homes.

As I stroked my rake along the fallen auburn leaves, I very much likened the experience to the combing of a little girls' hair. Me and my friends, we raked, and made the earth quoft and smooth and cared-for, with our gentle, purposeful strokes.

Later in the day, I was taking a walk with a trio of sandy-haired sisters. As I pushed the baby-cart along, the two older one's scootered behind and in front of me. Their street, too, had been blessed by the falling of firey-red and yellow leaves. Each of us would stop every so often to pick one up, inspect it in youthful wonder, and place it atop the stroller roof, to tote home with us.

I was pleased to see that each of us were drawn to different leaves. Sometimes the girls would bring one to me with delight and awe, and add it to our collection, and I would deem it rather plain, or much like some of the others... But I realized to that girl, it was a small miracle of God's artistic Manifesto. I like that he takes the care to design specific little snips and twigs to delight and bemuse us individually! I felt like that whole sidewalk was giant tailored gift to this world. If we just took the time, we could surely all find our very own personalized perfect autumn leaf.

I was particularly struck by the variety to be found in these shells of lifeless skeletons of greener, fuller days. There was beauty in their death. More beauty in a single leaf, fallen and crinkled, ruddy and tawny... than in a whole green shimmering springtime tree. Well, maybe perhaps not more... but certainly "just as much"... and a different beauty. A deeper one perhaps. One of a hidden, painful, peaceful surrender... I looked into the blood-red veins of such a leaf, and thought about God's care for us, and how he had birthed the same sentiment in us, to be able to tend and caress this beautiful firmament of fallen foliage... and found rest for my soul as well.

"Autumn burned brightly, a running flame through the mountains, a torch flung to the trees." - Faith Baldwin-

 "Poetry is just the evidence of life.  If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash." ~Leonard Cohen 

Somebody Else's Turn

The following = some quotes from things 

I've been reading or listening to lately...

"How we spend our days is, of course,

how we spend our lives." -Annie Dillard-

"Do I not destroy my enemy when

I make them my friend?" -Abraham Lincoln-

"I tell you everything that is really nothing,
and nothing of what is everything, do not be
fooled by what I am saying.  Please listen
carefully and try to hear what I am not saying." 
-Charles C. Finn-

"I want you to love me, he whispers,

unable to speak

and he wonders aloud why

feelings so strong

make the body so weak."

-Green and Grey, Nickel Creek-

"...our laughter kept the feathers in the air.
I thought about the birds.  Could they fly
if their wasn't someone, somewhere, laughing?"
-Oscar Schell, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close-

I walked through your door

and was enamored by your bohemian scantlings.
You took me through your colorful house, and offered me
the key to it's pulsating heart.
You've endeared me to you.
You singular child of sweetness.
You singer of Ocean melodies.
You artist of life and dreams.
You took me by your quilted bed... and I longed to rest there, but instead...
we continued on... to the kitchen.
You filled my mouth with delicious foods.
I longed to touch you...
But I had to chew with my mouth closed. And my hands at my sides.
And my eyes to the floor. -Your warm, toasty floor.
[that spot just below the oven]
Your walls, they held me up. For if they had not, I would have surely fallen into your arms.
Fresh air is what I needed.
You took me outside.
A garden of blissful beauty and scents.
Lifting me higher and filling me deeper, with appraisal and affection for the abode which houses your soul.
You've bamboozled and bewitched me my unwitting friend.

Nothing quite like...

...getting kissed on the forehead by 4-year-old peanut-butter mouth. :-)

Joyoux Noel

The greatest gift I received this Christmas came to me after the X-mas Eve Service at church. I was standing alone along the back wall of the building, watching people pass by, when along came a family I've loved for a long time. Over a year ago, when I worked in Nursury, baby Joey would come every week, screaming and crying, for just about the entire two hour service. I would usually hold him during this time... and nothing I'd do could ever console him. He hated human touch, and all the usual baby-soothing tricks just didn't do a thing for him.

Finally, after months and months, he began to soften. I'd spend the time praying for him and his family... and slowly, slowly he cried less and less, and every so often he'd even smile... for a split second. But he was still very reserved and tentative.

Well, I haven't worked in the Nursury for at least the last nine months. As he and his Daddy walked by me, Richard (his dad), said, "Joey! It's Maddy... give her a hug! And say Merry Christmas!" And to my utter surprise and delight, that little tinker left his father's arms and gave me the biggest two-year-old hug I'd ever received! It was almost as if the very hand of God reached through him like a puppet, and was hugging me tight.

I couldn't have asked for anything more this Christmas.
Joey remembered me! And he wasn't afraid. And he smiled.
Thanks Santa.

Ode to Friendship, Pt. V: Victoria Katherine Tennant

Dear Victoria,
"If all my friends were flowers, I would look around and pick you."  
I wish there was some way to take this happy, giggly love inside my heart for you and use it to blow up the biggest balloon, that was teal and said in big white letters "I LOVE YOU VICTORIA", and send it up into the sky and have it float above the earth so that all the inhabitants and peoples of this planet would see it and know how great my love is for you.

But, apparently "love" doesn't blow up balloons, so I will just have to try to express my sentiments with words.

We've gone through so many seasons as friends. There was the "You are a toddler and we can't really do much other than have me drag you around" phase. Then there was they "Lets play with guinea pigs on your bed till they poop on us" phase (that one was fun). After that, came the "Let's play the we are Settlers in the 1800s game in my freezing cold garage for hours and days on end" phase. And of course, we cannot forget the "We are famous gymnasts and we will practice our dance routines on my trampoline" phase. We had the "bake-sale" phase. And the "rollar-blading" phase, the "Let's try to evade our brothers" phase (well, perhaps that one still continues...). We had the "Frisbee" phase and the "Music Video Making" phase... The "Floating around in rafts on lakes" phase and... one of my personal favorites: "The let's pretend we are cool surfers and go out and ride some gnar waves" phase.

Through these all, you have been a faithful ally and partner... "Laugh-a-minute Tennant" has never failed me.

It is so entirely awesome to be your friend now, as a "grownup" - because we both know who we were as kids... and that for the most part... we still are deep down. The world changes around us, but our friendship doesn't. And that... is a pretty darn great thing.

I'm grateful.
Tons.
For you.
Love, sincerely and forever,
Maddy (aka Virginia West)

A Corpulence Of Cogitation.

So we are gonna try 'n sum.

1. Recent revelations show me that "time" is a very curious medium. It has come to my attention that "actual time" never rolls along as "dremt-up-future-thoughts-of-how-we-imagine-present-time-to-feel-like". I feel that the "best moments" in life are always those remenissed of, or looked forward to. There seems to be a sort of glossy, warm haze we look through when our minds take us either of these directions, making the moments seem... illuminated, sweetly nostalgic... and somehow supreme. Oh if we could only harness said haze, so that it could become our constant lens, and thus we could learn to enjoy all of life's moments to their fullest - casting aside the confines of "actual time" and all it's silly hinderances.

2. I really like just sitting... amongst my peers, doing nothing in particular --- like in a classroom setting --- and then all of the sudden, my mind starts to soar and somorsault with joy + hope + vision + beauty, making tapestries of thoughts + ideas stringing above everybody's heads... and nobody knows it
but me.

3. So I am 21. Almost. I should be a jounior or a Senior in College. But I'm not. And that's ok. I am different. Someday, I will find out why.

4. Absolute perfection is to be found in the gentle, clinkety-clankety rangle-jangle of humble, acoustic banjo and mandolin, intermingled, and making love to each other. Yes, it is so.

There. 4 distinct thought bubbles. And you have it. But the most important thing I wanted to say was that I very much need to be reminded to "embrace the now" as they say, live "in the moment"... because...
that's all we ever have.
Oh yes! Let it be so!

Ode To Friendship, Part. IV: Gracianna Christina Lemos

Gracie.

It's a good thing we chanced to meet that day on the stairs. Today you are one of my closest friends. I like that you get me. And you get me in most all ways, too. I love that we can spend an entire night flowing in and out of dorkiness and seriousness, and it's perfectly normal and ok and just right. I like that the two worlds or humor and somberness (sobraros), are quite parallel in your Universe. You can make a deep thing seem not so dark, and likewise, shed a thoughtful perspective on something that would at first seem light or casual.

You are one of the funniest peeps I know. Sometimes my face get's sore from smiling when you're around. Thanks for talking to me... about everything. Thanks for accepting me for who I am. Thanks for buying me a Ramen Bowl.

Gracie, Gracie. Gracie. Princess of the Nile. I bow down to you in reverence, respect and homage. You are welcome in my home and to my refrigerator at all times. And to you, my heart holds an open door.

You treat me well.
Ta-ta.

Ode to Friendship, Pt. III: Rebecca

A little girl bumbled her way onto the stage...  She danced and jumped up and down, and waved to the audience.  People smiled and chuckled when the adorable little figure bent down and her little headpiece got stuck in her tu-tu..  A few year later, she could be found hunting frogs and salamanders, knee-deep in San Marcos Creek, pigtails flying and goggles atop her head, while riding wild alligators (logs) into the deep parts.

Alot has changed since then, and life has made you grow up.  But you haven't lost that infamous Rebecca-spark.  Spunky tirades, pranks and mischievous grins have all been constants in in your life.

Oh dear friend, please don't change too much.  You are one of a kind.  Don't try to be like anyone else.  People love you because you are absolutely oblivious and adorable and daring and hilarious and fun... and like none other, amazing.  I'm sorry life hasn't let you live your whole life in a creek, or catching butterflies, or making rock-houses, because it should have.  That was the best.  Oh silly, stupid life.

Oh and by the way,

Sometimes, I get so scared by how REAL life is.
It's really, really real. And we are really, really living it. Sometimes, it's so real, it feels like a movie.
----------------------------------------------------


Oh, and on an unrelated note, let it be known:

When I kiss the man I am going to marry... it's gonna feel like opening a door. His lips will be the keys and when he presses them to mine - my soul will be able to see for miles.... The secrets of our kiss will be as deep + wide as an ocean... Sharing love will create a flame so light and so fierce, when burning, by it, we will be able to see all things, and know all truth and all knowledge and wisdom.

So that's why I am not planning on treating "kissing" as something careless and casual. It's sacred. And I am keeping it till "love so desires to be awakened"...

The Poetry Lover

Satisfied with the limerick of the day,

she nestles into bed.
Pillow catching head;
'twix sheets of woolen red.

Dreaming of what future morn may bring,

Beneath the cozy sheet,
wiggling her feet,
where sleep and daydreams meet.

Moonlight casts a shadow on the wall,

the paintings shimmer clear,
The hope of new dawn near,
The warm light chased out fear.

Blinking, her face grows sleepy still.

....Time to slumber,
Get lost in dreamy wonder,
Thoughts like raging thunder.

She dances gracefully from cloud to cloud,

For future, yearning,
Embracing the journey,
...Always, learning,

Her bed is her home, her soul at rest,

Burried in covers,
Where inspiration hovers,
[she is]....The Poetry Lover.